Can you hear me?

A year ago, I started blogging with the following post.

"Fingers- so important to us, yet so neglected, we seldom do realize their importance.

If only index finger is shown- it can spell eternity to a sportsman and can send him back to the pavallion. Raised in air, it can mean to indicate the presence of the only God, if kept on the lips, it can spread silence. An indelible mark on it can mean we are free and are a part of democracy. It's the finger on which Lord Krishna carried his Sudarshan Chakra and eliminated many evils.

Just next to it is the middle finger, which flaunts an objectionable abuse.

And the very next finger is connected to heart, the wedding ring is flipped into it of all the five fingers.

The little most finger indicates answering the nature's call.

The thumb, can up and cheer the mood, downwards it can boo off. Through it we key-in the mushy, sometimes sad text messages on our handphones. Its suck can make a baby sleep.

Two fingers of the same hand in the air mean victory, two fingers of different hands mean a sixer or a simple gesture of a dance, dance of joy, fun and celebration- the celebration of being alive.

Together, these fingers can make some people express them more passionately.

Holding these fingers we grow up. Holding the tiny ones, we show path to our tomorrow.

They strike the chords, creating music, music that transcends borders. Their right movement on a bamboo stick create percussion.

The gap between them create a space for someone to come and fill in them .. with fingers.

They can feed a hungry stomach, these fingers can show the door to get out, they can slap and punch, they can rise in supplication to God. Blind men's eyes, mute people's tongue.

One day I decide to run them on the keypad like a maestro directing a chorus. A new journey commences ... my blog starts."

November 19, 2009 .. I have something more to add to it.

Your "friends" and people close to your heart, leave these same fingers when you are in distress, when you are in crisis. And you walk alone, with these fingers rising up in supplication, sometimes crossed with the hope that help in the form of a mere moral support would come soon.

The last nine months have been the most painful time of my young life. The pain and agony have been amplified with the attitude of people I considered close to my heart, sometimes as close as my real brother.

They have turned their back on me.

I have always respected them, looked upto them, fought for them, bruised myself for them. But when my time came, they dont even listen to my cries .. my cries for help .. my cries for a support.

It is only unfortunate they dont realise that when we are in distress, we reach out to people we cosider close to our hearts and not to any Tom, Dick and Harry.

Technology has brought all of us closer and together. We are just ‘fingertips’ away from our nears and dear ones, atleast from those who we consider nears and dears. But then, it takes a finger to disconnect a call and maybe.. to disconnect more than just a phone call. Sad!!

My really good and genuine friend, Simran rightly says, "Zaini, if they can not reciprocate, people should atleast respect the affection you give them."

There are some people, who I fought for, in the battle I had nothig to do with. Today I feel I have been used as a proxy or maybe as a puppet. Same people dont even answer my call, let alone do a small favour on me.

I have never felt so lonely in my life as much as I feel today. If I dont call them for days, they dont even bother to find out if I am alright, if the crisis I was in has got over.

However, ironically the help has come from an unexpected person, someone who I had very professional relations with, somene who I didnt even invite when my brother got married, someone whose call I always missed, he’s my hairdresser- Sarfaraz.

He not only calls me from time to time to find out how I am doing but also tries to place me well. He has a client, who is a big boss of a big company, in which my brother-like brother works. What my brother-like brother couldn’t do, Sarfaraz did. He organised my interview there. Sarfaraz, today I have another reason to bow my head in front of you. Hats off!

This time will pass off. But I will forever remember these heady days.

Onward,

Zain